It is so difficult.....

Well, where do i begin from ? Life sometimes can become so difficult. No matter how hard u try...the efforts dont get translated properly...n frustrations mount up.
To state the problem directly, guess how wud u feel if u can do a job better than everyone daily ,that , even if u r called up from ur sleep n told to perform that particular task, u wud do it as if u were born doing it but when the time comes for u to really make it work, it just doesnt happen. Do u get an idea now...yes this is exactly what I 'm feeling now.

This is no performance anxiety...I 'm sure of that. I'm not getting hyperbolic, but I 've noticed that I'm able to influence the ppl in my team considerably n I 'm afraid when I am not able to deliver, I tend to pull down the morale of the team together with me...maybe this line of thought is wrong, am I getting too conscious of my role in the team....maybe I shud just learn to see everything objectively..maybe I shud just learn to relax. Frankly speaking, no brillaint ideas are coming to mind at the moment....I 'm just writing what I'm feeling.

I really miss my bro very much ..he has been my counsellor, my support during such times of frustration. Man , he is younger to me but his temperament is something which really amazes me no end. He is my ICE-MAN (TOP GUN), no matter what happens on or around him he just retains the monk like serenity on his face. Thakur, thanks for teaching so many important lessons just by being the person u r.Love u boss, many times over. Ami khoob lucky :)

Well, diary, tell u what, I'm already feeling relaxed n rejuvenated.To look at this in hindsight, what joy wud there be in life, if not for the ups n downs? Life wud be so damn-dull n uninteresting. As a wise person has said, "the personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself".I need to understand that, "life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is, that they wish to select a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death". So here I go again to drink from the cup of life.
Thanks diary. :)