Monsoon Meditations

Its been some time that I put ma thots to paper or e-media to be precise. Yesterday was "World Environment Day". It was also Raj's birthday. The nice thing abt this was that Raj had been born on a Thursday and Thursdays are considered to be holy in general by Hindus and all the more by Satya Sai baba's devotees. I stumbled upon a meditation workshop while surfin the net a couple of days back. Thot it wud be a cool idea to try it as I'd never been to one b4. So off I went to Santacruz (an hour's drive in bus) takin an early break from work. 6' o clock was the session startin time and since the address was new to me...I left early and reached there 30 mins before the startin time. Courteous volunteers greeted me @ every step. I was led to a large spacious hall with cream coloured walls. The SPACE (as the teacher very oft addressed the hall, welcome to the "space", he used to say :) ) was dimly lit with the aroma of incense sticks waftin by and a thick red velvet carpet 'd been laid on the floor. The entire ambience was soothing no doubt wat with the ACs doin the rest. Mumbai heat can be terrible and with the crowd and pollution one wud feel like a baked bean in an oven and boy o boy was I pleased to be here in this "space" :). U bet.

The skeptic in me was raisin all sorts of qs..okaaay..so far so gud..whats next ?? I went and sat on the carpet in the 3rd row. An elderly couple was in front of me and a muslim lady besides me. Many PYTs had assembled too. Plungin necklines and rising hemlines was the norm..I felt like I'd come to a fashion show rather than a meditation gathering. Bright lipsticks, heavy mascaras , dark eyelashes, man, these gals wud have taken atleast an hour to put all these up. Suddenly a gal stood up dancing..I was like cant these ppl sit quitely for a second...why do they have to call attention to them always..surely seem to be of the ASD (attention seekin disorder) type..n suddenly I saw a small black lump of mass whizzin past me, it went brushin ma legs..Ohhhhhhhh God..what the bloody hell it was a raaaaaaatttt. a rodent...rabies injections...how careless of these volunteers. Oh no wonder the gal stood up and danced .

Puttin the rat incident behind me, soon I was chattin up the muslim lady and suddenly a beautiful gal came up to the dias and told us to stop talkin and close our eyes. I dunno how come these teachers or swamis always seem to have beautiful gals with them . Hmmm that qs cud be analysed later..I was here for meditation so I closed ma eyes, made ma spine erect sat in a sukhasana pose(the easy form of padmasana). How many ppl cud these hall seat ? I cud hear thunder and rains...oh...finally the showers 've hit Mumbai, huh. Greatt!! Where is Varsha, the volunteer whom I contacted for registration ? When wud the session start...hmm IST (Indian stretchable time as usual),,what if another rat came around..rabies is very fatal...especially after seein Meera get affected.

My thots were interrupted by a soft sound and I opened my eyes and saw a 6.3 footer of a guy standing in front of us on the stage. He looked very young, 'd the guy next door look but there was somethin abt his eyes..it was as if they took up all his face..big set of eyes. Soon he was talkin to us abt many things and then he told his attendants to put off the lites except for 1 or 2. Soon the 350 odd ppl (thats waht he said) who 'd gathered were soon takin deep breaths of inhalation n exhalation. Soft soothin music played in the background..and the teacher, Mr. Prasad was guiding us abt the things to concentrate and the hand positions to be done. I was feelin comfortable in the beginning but after a while my legs began to pain..I dunno how long it 'd be but my legs were hurtin for sure...the music in the background changed from soothin water drops to a sad violin tune, at this time precisely Prasad told us to remember all that was sad in our lives...to pick up each of the sorrowful thots, angry thots, guilty thots, heavy thots bring it up and go thru' the emotions and then put them back to forgive ourselves for whatever happened...and suddenly tears sprang forth from ma eyes. Suddenly I heard a sobbing sound...it came from my left..the muslim lady..she was crying..and then another wail..another suppressed sob...ohhh this music is what is makin us cry..my rational side interrupted...but soon I was busy doin what Prasad was tellin us..didnt feel anything not even the pain of my crossed legs....I cudnt hear any cries too...suddenly Raj's face came up b4 me, she 'd been thru' lot of pain n struggle..I was surprised by the thot..but spontaneously felt like blessin her with lotsa peace n happiness and I happily did it. Next came up Achan n Amma n ma thakur(bro) wit a mischievous smile on his face, blessed all of them with peace n love and then suddenly as it had gone,the pain returned with renewed intensity...oh goddddd I cudnt bear this...I need to straighten ma legs. Its killin me...aaah.

After what seemed like an eternity...I heard sound of chimes and then we were told to open our eyes slowly. More than the eyes, I was eager to straightem ma legs...my legs were feelin numb..painfully numb.

I looked at ma watch..it was 8.40 pm, 2 hrs n 15 mins since we started our session. Prasad then asked us abt how we felt...a PYT raised her hand..she said..she felt faboulous, deeply connected, 'd a very +ive experience...I was like...okaay ??..and then Prasad interrupted her sayin but werent u lyin down....hahahah..so that is the secret of her connectedness.....(well with all due respect to her) but boy, if I get to sleep on a velvet carpet in a dimly lit aromatic AC ambience..I wud feel so connected that it wud be difficult for ppl to wake me up...how is that for some DEEP connection ?! Soon every uncle aunty n youngster was feelin absolutely great...me bein the sole exception, I dont know if there were others like me..well I cudnt lie to myself...I felt nuthin, of what they described....but I was happy...I saw my dear n near ones , my friends and though the moment lasted mayb some secs...the feeling was very deep and spontaneous, so deep to have made me 4get ma pain. Well that was a +ive that I was certainly takin away with me. I felt happy but also tremendously tired..terribly exhausted....and also seemed to have developed a slight pain in ma stomach.

In hindsight, it was an interesting experience. Monsoon meditation..it was nice. "WELCOME TO THE SPACE " :).